StopScum

Tears and Angst.

Mom and the teen daughter were waiting in the living room. After displaying my Drivers License, I addressed the issue in a somewhat direct and tackles manner. Do you use a Computer to access the Internet? Do you use Chat Rooms and or IM (Instant Messenger)? Yes to all my questions from the teen and No from Mom who continued to cry. How would a stranger acquire the pass word to the front gate, your DOB, favorite foods, High School name, and your home address? Silence from the teen. Glassy eyed stare from Mom. Can I see your Computer? What was the last thing you were doing on your Computer? What is your favorite thing to do with your Computer?

An infected machine: Spyware and predators galore.

Packets were flowing in both directions. The machine was infected with tons of Spyware and IM was displaying lots of stuff including a "Joe" meeting date and numerous strange links.

Mom, I'm unplugging the Broadband Cat 5 Cable and taking the Modem with me. I'm also taking the Computer with me. Is this OK? Sure. I have a professional service who can fix the infection or you can choose from any of the following. Is this OK. Sure said Mom. However, none of this repair work is the core issue which we need to talk about. Teen begins to sob and cry. Mom indicates in an emotional tone that both she and her husband don't know anything about the Internet.

Tough Love from Me!

For Mom and Dad: The Internet is a VERY dangerous place. If you don't understand how this can occur and or don't wish to engage your kids with a family friendly security policy, you shouldn't have Internet access in your home. When I say dangerous, let me be rather direct in telling you what will happen in various cases: rape, identity theft, infected machines which no longer work, kidnapping, extortion, blackmail, sexual abuse, murder, drug addiction, robbery, and more! Dad arrives home and joins the discussion. I repeat my warnings and then offer some advice: Mom and Dad, take a course on the Internet and learn how to use it properly, hire a consultant (not me as I'm pro bono only), sit down with your daughter and surf the Net together, find sites that all of you can talk about at the dinner table. Make it a family affair with Security procedures. Mom and Dad agree and I provide third party resources.

For Teen daughter: Don't bother answering my questions teen diva! I know what happened. I can see what happened. I can read the logs of your IM chats. I can see that the machine is infected with Spyware. I know how you met the "dude at the front door" and how he obtained way way to much data on you! I know that teens spend much more time on IM during the summer months. These are the rules and if you don't agree or have questions, please speak up because I don't want to return.

My way or the highway. Rules of the road.

Don't give sensitive information to strangers. Any stranger! Via IM or anywhere else on the Net. ONLY use your first name or better yet a handle/screen name.

Don't click on unknown links sent to you via IM, email, Chat Rooms, or unknown web sites.

Assume that your real friends/buddies who you have known from school don't have a clue about how dangerous the Internet is.

Install a Firewall, reliable Anti Spyware software on your computer, and Anti Virus software. Keep your profiles updated.

You seem to be a smart kid and not a rebel without a cause. I see real "love" in this room. Take this foundation and spend some time with Mom and or Dad surfing the Net together. Talk about this stuff at the dinner table. Do it together and have fun.

Sure, I understand your a teen and need your "space" in some cases but let a healthy dose of paranoia guide you. Would you tell all your sensitive data to a stranger you met at your High School dance? Of course not, teen diva says. Then use these same common sense rules to guide you on the Internet.

I'm also aware of what your friends are doing and the resultant peer pressure to be "cool" and transparent. Use the "dude at the front door" story to educate them and stick to your guns.

Any questions teen diva?

Teen Daughter: I understand Steve, but your kinda strict and my friends won't think this is cool.

Sure, I understand teen diva but that's the way it's going to be unless you want scruffy looking strangers knocking on your front door and the resultant fear and panic that you and Mom suffered. You make the choice and then tell all your friends about the "dude at the front door" and rape, identity theft, infected machines which no longer work, kidnapping, extortion, blackmail, sexual abuse, murder, drug addiction, robbery, and more!

Long pause from teen diva and then...

I get it. Thank you Steve.